’ ‘Well, there’s nothing to worry about then is there.’ Still sniffling I replied, ‘No, not about that, but it made me realise, oh of course I know really, but it made me realise, you know right up front, how much older he is. I know he doesn’t look or act it but he is. This made me think that he was so vulnerable to everything, you know health wise, and that it was likely,’ and here I choked, ‘that I would lose him. Jo, I couldn’t stand that, not now, not after such a short time with him. It’s making me feel like lead, like I’ve already lost him. I can’t stop thinking about him not being here and it makes me feel so empty, so alone. I’m sorry, I know I have you and you’ll be here for me, but it’s such a painful feeling.’ She cuddled and shushed me, ‘I think that’s what love does to you Lena, it makes you feel like this. I suppose it’s the down side. Everyone who loves someone else has to face the prospect of losing that love. You have to face it too, to come to terms with it.’ ‘I. Your own kids are important role to strengthen a marriage and the modern science can give evidence. After divorce what's your chance for your own kids? What's your plan for the future?"I was very brave, but I did not surprise Simon because he saw my direct questions as the consequence of our calm discussion."My chance isn't too good. I'm not a wealthy businessman or other well off people. I'll pay children support, the housing cost and a little alimony from my salary. To find a younger woman who would raise common kids with me from my low income would be a smaller miracle. My future is to find a divorced, widow or single mom with kids and a stepfather's role. An own kid may be a dream. but..." he stopped.I asked with fear, "What?!"He found an idea, "I heard about such possibility to sue the biological father to pay the children support and a compensation for the ex husband to raise his biological kids. The court accepts the DNA test results. In that case I'd start my life in better.
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