Magus watched Jake leave the office. He went into the room behind his desk and emerged a half an hour later with an envelope in hand. A distinguished looking man walked into the office and said, “I’m here.”“Ah, Pat Hendrisk. You’re right on time. Have a seat and we’ll get to business,” Magus said. He tossed the envelope on the desk and took a seat.“What have you got for me?” Pat asked.Magus answered, “I’ve got the solution to your problem.”“Good. I was beginning to worry that my ten million dollars had been wasted,” Pat said.Magus slid the envelope across the desk and said, “I think you’ll find that my fee is very inexpensive compared to the benefits.”Pat picked up the envelope and opened it. There was a single sheet of paper inside. He pulled it out and read it. Frowning, he asked, “Are you kidding?”“No,” Magus answered.“You are telling me to fire eight people and to hire one person,” Pat said in disgust.“Exactly,” Magus said.Pat said, “I asked to tell me how to improve our market. ”“I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.”“How do you feel after doing this for 75 years?”“Like I’ve been talking to a fucking wall.”An Irish Lesson:How to get to Heaven from Ireland.(A story from an Irish Sunday School teacher)I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday School class, to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.I asked them: If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?’‘NO!’ the children answered.‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?’Again, the answer was ‘NO!’‘If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?’Again, they all answered ‘NO!’I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued. Then how can I get into heaven?’A little boy shouted out: ‘YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN’ DEAD.’It’s a curious clan, the.
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