I detest being drab all the time! You're not shocked, are you? It's so much more than that," she continued. "I've always felt that I should have been born a girl." It's Springtime, hon. I can wear my long breezy skirts and loose peasant blouses." Her smile lit up the entire room."Tessa, I'm surprised," I said. "Glad, I think. May I confess something too? I asked. A whirlwind of thoughts and images rushed through my mind. I wondered if I had already at some deeper level sensed who she was.What if I told her how much I admired her, how much she excited me at that moment, not just for her looks and sensuality, but because the way that she lived was my greatest wish? Could I tell her that all my life the desire had burned within me to be a woman? I fantasized it incessantly. I fantasized about being pretty, as sweet and pretty as Tessa, and being loved as a woman and getting married. I must have imagined myself in a lovely white bridal gown a thousand times. I longed to be held warm and. I sure as Hell was cold, and my coat was beginning to feel clammy. Dangerous. We needed shelter, and we needed it soon.We topped a hill, and there below we glimpsed the light from a door opening then closing again. As we descended, we saw a ranch-style house accompanied by a barn, two old silos, and various outbuildings. I could only hope we had found an untouched home and not some hideout for local trash.We decided to have Cathleen knock at the door, then step back and to one side. She was the smallest and least likely to intimidate an innocent but alarmed occupant. She lowered her hood, removed her knit hat and ski mask, and stuffed them in her pocket along with her right glove to leave her trigger finger free. With her braided hair high on her head, she looked small and vulnerable.Rachel and I were slightly behind and to either side. Any bad reaction, and Cathleen was to drop to the ground so we could respond as needed.Cathleen stepped to the door and used the door knocker, then.
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