Bollywood Couple Night Romance

I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.I was such an ugly kid! When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.I was such an ugly baby that my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.I was so ugly my father carried around a picture of the kid that came with his. I emailed the place several times, explaining we were new to this and wanted to know what to expect and what was expected from us, things like that. One thing that surprised me was that there was no alcohol at this party. You could drink beforehand or afterwards, but they did not want a drunk rowdy crowd. Classy. Finally, the day came. I jerked off in the afternoon, to make sure I didn’t come too quickly if and when the time arose later. I dressed nicely, but casual. My wife wore a long skirt with some lacy black underwear that she only wears on special occasions. Around 7:30pm, a relative came to stay with the k**s overnight and we left, practically vibrating with nerves. Before we drove the 25 miles, we had dinner. It was almost 9:00 before we got our food and we were starving, but found ourselves not eating that much. We killed some time and eventually got on the road. We barely talked the entire drive. The party officially started at 10, but we were told the first hour is usually.
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