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It's not that I didn't want the company of a man, too shy, too whatever. I had my fantasy lovers for sure, but masturbating in the shower while spreading your legs to expose yourself to some fantasy lover doesn't make you a bad person. Neither does masturbating in every room of the house, I think, having sex with your adult son? I know that is crossing the line. Well ok, I guess I became a bad mom. I know that I have been described as "clingy" I probably came across as too desperate for the few men that I did meet. It's part of who and what I am, I am miserable at being single and horrible at fixing it.This changed with a conversation I had with my son. He had married young, neither of them wanted kids, she was a real scheming partier. That's where my conversation came in. My son called, that meant something was wrong right off the bat, he was hesitant to talk about it, I got it from him, hey why else would he have called, right? His wife Cathy had a new scheme. She wanted to get the. Let's start tracking how often you are having these episodes. I may ask that you talk to your doctor and maybe have a test or two. Let's make sure that it's cause is not physical. On the journal I want you to write down the date and time, and what you were thinking about. Also write down anything that you may feel is important. Was it storming outside? Were your children already up and making noise? Let's try to figure out the impact of the outside stimuli. Heck, even if you had burritos for dinner, when you usually don't. Anything and everything." Okay Mike," Ray agreed."Make sure you keep that journal right by your bed or couch or cot or whatever you are sleeping on."Ray nodded."Okay last 2 or 3 sessions we talked about your visit to Chuck's grave. We also talked about Dana and her abandonment issues with her father. How's the guitar playing going Ray?" Well real well. I'm playing a little everyday. The guitar Dana bought me is very good. It doesn't have a lot soul, but it is very.
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