HOW TO MAKE A WOMEN MOAN AND MAD

"Okay, I've got an idea. Remember the show? He puts a photo of the woman's bangers up on the side of a building..." "We're not doing that!" she squealed. "Yes, because I know just how to arrange that," I said sarcastically. "All that outdoor projection experience I have. And don't forget my lifelong billboard contacts." "All right!" She tilted her head with a pout. "What are you thinking?" "We take a photo, and instantaneously put it out there on the line, and share it with other people." I was quoting The Internship I had watched the week before, but she didn't laugh. "I'm sure there's sites out there where you can put up nude photos and get comments." "Are you serious?" She was frowning. "We won't show your face or anything. Just a shot of your breasts. Completely anonymous. Just so you can see the comments." "I don't know." Her face softened. "Look," I reassured. "We'll just start with the photos, and see how you feel after that. Okay?" She reluctantly agreed, and I went and got. So they tug on my shirts and free my nightie from my waistband. It hangsjust past my crotch. I go to pull it over my head but, as usual, it won'tmove past my shoulders. I let it go and it drapes over my tummy, flaringout from my chest. They start cat-calling and whistling. I just collapseonto a bench and let it happen. Tears break out. I just lost the respectof my friends. This is forever. They won't forget. I'm going to be mockedand teased and taunted for the summer and next year."I think I need an even better look," Caleb says with a huge grin."C'mon Caleb," I plead, "just give me my clothes back." You are dressed in your clothes, Jake," he says calmly. "but your*outfit* doesn't look right."Oh no! Here it comes. I scramble up from the bench. Better to get out ofhere wearing pants than just the nightie. To get out I have to go throughDev. I move to the door but Stewart manages to block me and Will tacklesme to the floor. They all pause instinctively because of the noise andlook to.
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