Are you really ready for this?” I thought, “Oh God, here we go again.” Elizabeth was her latest tennis partner, who I had not yet met. It was probably just as well because she sounded like a real busybody. Jessica was always telling me that “Elizabeth says this” or “Elizabeth thinks that,” even when the topics were none of Elizabeth’s damned business… such as my impending retirement. Dinner conversations had lately been largely dominated by Elizabeth’s words of wisdom. If Jessica wasn’t talking about Elizabeth, she was probably telling me about Elizabeth’s wonderful husband, who was a world famous transplant surgeon. I sometimes wondered if something was going on between my wife and her new best friend. For once, I wanted to give my opinion rather than just hear about Elizabeth’s. “Honey, we have been talking about retirement for years,” I said reassuringly. “Our daughter is now twenty-four and has a great job in Newcastle. She already has her own life. I’m tired of working. Most of us get over it eventually and I knew that I would. After all, I had gotten over the death of my sister. Yes, it had been hard. There were days when I thought the pain would strangle me, weigh my heart down until it stopped beating. But it didn't. I had persevered. I would persevere! At six o'clock we pried ourselves from each other's arms without that last ride. It was probably for the best, although neither of us liked it much. I ached for him. I had never experienced that before and I wondered if men could feel this particular pain. It was more than just a heartache. I could feel it in my loins, my breasts, my legs. I wanted him to touch me. God it was maddening. I showered (a cold shower) and dressed in the shorts and top Gary lent me when we had arrived here yesterday. Then, I took stock of myself and decided that I looked damn good in them. I ran my hands down the flat of my stomach one more time and thrilled at the feminine feel it gave me. Why the hell hadn't this.
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