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When she looked back up at me, there were small puddles forming in her eyes. ‘I’ve had nothing but bad memories here, Maddie,’ I smiled at her per name for me. ‘I really would just like to get rid of it, the house, the memories. All of them, except the ones with you.’ She was all seriousness again, looking right at me from across the table. ‘The only reason I’m even here today, was because you were my friend and the only person that loved me. I don’t think I would have survived without you.’ Memories of dragging Mary’s red body out of the bathtub came rushing back to me. The ambulance, the doctors, her parents, all of them asking questions I couldn’t begin to answer. More therapy for Mary. Virginia feeding her more pills. Stealing the razors from her bathroom, hiding knives,always expecting the worst. ‘Mary, you know that’s not true. There are so many people that loved you then,’ I lied. ‘Don’t sell the house just because you hated your parents. This place is going to be worth a. But not quite so close as to let me slip over the edge. That, maybe more than anything else, was the biggest reason I came to enjoy visiting Bob! I was unable to go over to his place whenever I wanted, but, in a way, the very infrequency of those visits made the ones I made all the more thrilling and rewarding.Yes, I did often feel a twinge of guilt after visiting Bob. I'd think of my wife, perhaps at home, likely working in our gardens (which is one of her passions), naturally unaware of what I was doing, or with who I was doing it. But I meant no disrespect towards her for going to Bob's. It was just...menopause. I still wanted to have a sexual outlet; and if my wife was no longer interested in sex, then I had to do something about that for myself! I told myself that I wasn't out fucking some other woman. I was being 'faithful' to my wife, at least in that regard. I told myself that Bob was not a threat to her. She was still my wife. I still loved her. What Bob wanted from me was.
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