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Maybe some time to yourself would be worth it. He had a point about everything consuming you; you could already feeling yourself heading down that path. But what if taking that time away would just make everything worse? You sat, still thinking on it.“Okay, I’ll do that.” You weren’t sure that you actually would do it, but you weren’t about to argue with Mike right then. “Thank you for all of this. I’m gonna head home while I can still drive,” you said, only halfway connected to reality.You and Mike kept talking and drinking though, and you ended up walking the few blocks home eventually anyways.THE NEXT MORNINGYou remembered something you saw online a while ago that said “Drinking alcohol is like stealing happiness from the next morning” or something equally corny, but it carried at least some truth. You felt miserable.Going through your morning routine, taking a few Advil’s along the way, you remembered your conversation from last night. You considered if it was really worth it,. I'd forgotten about being woken in the night when the baby was restless and Jessica couldn't sleep, and those trips to the toilet. And I'd forgotten the ante-natal classes.I trained as a Registered Nurse, and held qualifications in both general and psychiatric nursing. As part of my general nursing training I spent ten weeks in 'mother and child care' — that is, obstetrics. I found the whole business of birth and post-natal care incredibly satisfying and would have loved to train as a midwife. Unfortunately, that was in the early days of the sexual equality movement, and only two hospitals, one in London and one in Edinburgh, would accept men (as a pilot project) for training in midwifery. It just was not practical for me to do that. I've never forgotten the emotions I experienced at observing, or assisting at a birth, though some of the power of those emotions had faded with time; but I could never watch a child being born, even on a film, without moist eyes. You'll probably have.
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