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At first I insisted that I wasn’t gay. People were confused. ‘Are you living with a woman?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘So is she your friend or your lover?’ ‘Both.’ ‘But you’re not a lesbian?’ ‘No, I don’t consider myself to be a lesbian?’ ‘So you’re bi?’ ‘I don’t consider myself to be bi either.’ ‘But you’re in a lesbian partnership, right?’ they would ask, genuinely confused. ‘I guess you could say that,’ I would concede. ‘So you’re a lesbian- right?’ At this point I would usually sigh and say, ‘I guess that’s the simplest way to put it- yeah.’ Over time my answer was boiled down to the much more simple, ‘yeah,’ and everything else that came before it was just skipped for the sake of brevity. And to keep me from pulling my hair out. My mother had the hardest time understanding. I had found prince charming, but managed to let him slip though my fingers. Even though I was having his child. (She knew nothing about the married friend who was another likely candidate for fatherhood.) Now I was living with. She did admit that she had been drinking on a date,had ‘gotten carried away’ and that her boyfriend hadactually fucked her -a little bit ‘ she said. My minddwelled on the fact that she had been intimate withboys before me, and I was curiously aroused by thethought; I allowed my imagination free reign. Wellinto our marriage, I fantasized about having athreesome with her and my best friend, and evenproposed the plan to my wife, but she expressed shockat the suggestion and flatly refused. I still wonder what it would have been like to begetting a blow job ‘ Sarah on her back – and feelingher body being jolted back and forth and watching asmy buddy plowed into her spread-eagled legs at theother end. I probably would not have been able tohold back more than a minute before gushing my waddown her throat. Another scenario would have the two of us tag-teamfucking Sarah, neither of us cumming until each of ushad had several turns. I found out later during.
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