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Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth.A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?' Granny replies, screw the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!'The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday.But strangely enough, once she killed herself,I started to. This started quite hard and It continued until I was obviously trying to squirm. Then again it stopped and the hand gently rubbed around both cheeks. He left me tied there for a while and disappeared. When he came back I was released and allowed to get the circulation back in my hands and feet. Then it was back to the cellar centre and I was put back into the standing spread eagled position facing away from the entrance. I heard footsteps and the cellar door opening. Obviously we were being joined by another. It was an elderly TV dressed in black. He was introduced to me and was allowed to touch me anywhere he wanted. Needless to say I was given a good groping. They discussed several options for me and then asked me what I thought. I was into full submission by then and said to do as they wished. Both went over to the side of me and assembled an A frame to which I was taken to and tied. The new TV was then asked what I was to be beaten with and he chose a wide floppy strap. The.
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