Indian Wife Ridding Hardly

I light a cigarette. A long drag. Ashes out the window and skittering across the pavement. My mind wanders thoughtlessly… The day in front of me plays out like a movie. Different endings, different plots, the same characters… They dance in my head like some sort of mindless chaotic ballet… Brake lights. ‘Whoa!’ I pull the car to a stop just short of the vehicle in front of me. I’m at a red light. The real world comes rushing back in a blink and my mental ballet evaporates. Green light. I pull forward cautiously, heart still racing from my narrow miss with the Ford Explorer. 5 long minutes later, I’m parked in front of the restaurant. I sit motionless in the driver’s seat, staring into space. I could just turn around. I could text her and tell her something came up. My brother needs me to help him with moving some furniture. I have to take my grandmother to the hospital. The dog died. Anything. I get out of the car and head for the entrance. The second I walk in, I see her. How could. I notice mommy putting the wipes away. "Okay sweetie let's see what wehave that will fit you." I start thinking that the only clothes left inthe bag are oh know. I see momma take the pink tee shirt with a pictureof Barbie on it and she starts pulling it over my head. I try tocomplain as mommy pushes my thin arms through the puffy sleeves."Mommy isn't there any other shirts in there but this pink one? Thislooks so girly on me?" The moment the words came out of my mouth, I knewI would regret it.I turn and look over at mommy giving me that look in her eye like I amin trouble and she is going to like this but I surely won't. "Okaysweetie, lay down on the pad so I can finish getting you dressed." Ilook at the long pad going across two of the seats. I had better listento her because she looks upset, but who knows why she doesn't let mejust slide the panties on like I did in the hospital."Okay momma I will be a good bo...ummm." Momma shakes her head hearingwhat I was starting to say and.
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