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I started checking the display of condoms. Wow, have I been out of circulation that long? When did they start making so many different types? Reservoir tips, ribbed, French Tickler, glow-in-the-dark, lubricated, flavored. Flavored? Really? Holy shit! I settled on a three-pack of basic, lubricated, reservoir tips. Three was probably more than enough for one night at the age of fifty-seven, and, sadly, I didn't need the size double-XL. After all, I'm a realist. There I was, a middle-aged guy (assuming I plan to live to the age of a hundred and fourteen!), buying a box of condoms for a first date. I felt ridiculous. I mean, hell, I have gray pubic hair! Yet I was more nervous than the night when I thought I might lose my virginity when I was fifteen. I was very aware of my age. Even though some things never change over the years, some things do. That's when I started thinking about Jeanne. It struck me that we could encounter a problem, if she was like some of the fifty-ish women I had. I had to keep the excitement and curiosity out of my voice. “I got bored and I don’t know anybody around here. My parents went out for some grocery shopping. Do you wanna come over?” she offered. Holy shit, is it gonna be that easy? “Sure thing, what do you wanna do?” I asked. I knew a few things I’d like to do, but I had to keep those things in my head. “Well, we put up a swimming pool this morning, so we could swim, no?” I loved how innocent she sounded. I was sure she wasn’t thinking of the darker things that swam through my head. “Absolutely, I’ll be right over.” I slapped my cell shut and quickly searched the house for my swim trunks. Finally I found them and ran across the street faster than I’d ever run. I got to the house and rang the doorbell. Nobody answered. This is the right house right? “Over here!” I turned to see Lillian peeking around the side of the house. Oh fuck! Her perfectly toned, tanned body was exposed to the afternoon sun, except for where that hot pink.
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