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But it was just something to break me out of my shell. We only get together every month or so.”“So, that got you back into dating?” asked Molly.Sarah nodded. “Yes, I just needed a good push, I guess. The next week, I was at the gym, and I saw a fellow there who had talked to me before. Or tried to talk, I suppose, I wasn’t really in a conversational mood before. Well, anyway, I was on the treadmill, and he was next to me, and this time when he said hello, I said hello as well, and this time we started talking. He was a very nice guy, a couple of years younger than me, but not so it was noticeable, in good shape. Anyway, he asked me out to dinner, and I said yes.”“That sounds promising.” commented Jessica.“Oh, it was. He was a very charming man, and after dinner we had a drink at the bar, and then I invited him back to the house for a nightcap, and well, you get the idea.”“A late dinner at the Y and then breakfast in bed?” teased Molly.Sarah blushed but nodded. “That pretty much says. I was not gay - I only wanted these things if I could have gone all the way and become a girl completely!It was these fantasises that, I think, kept me sane and helped me both to sleep, and would also kept me awake at night in roughly equal measures. As I grew older, I had the requisite family and plunged full on into a busy career. My dreams never went away completely, they merely subsided a little, no longer did they monopolise my thoughts all the time, just occasionally creeping into my subconscious as a welcome escape from the real world. Now, however, they were back in full force, helping me to get through the mid-life crisis I seemed to be building for myself. I had started to consciously, resurrect my little game.The game went something like this.To help get me through the daily 'cattle like' journey to work, I used to look around the train, examine all of the females I could see, and then I'd try to pick out one for special attention. Once I'd seen the object of my desire I.
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