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But if you wish a sword, I shall have one made for you - although you might find it a bit unwieldy and uncomfortable to roll over on the hard street!" Thank you, Your Majesty. The other matter which I wanted to discuss - and I hate to bring up such a matter in front of the Princess - is pay. What does the Princess's personal bodyguard get for wages?" "David, you will have no need for pay or for money for that matter. As the Princess's personal bodyguard you will eat the same food we eat - either at the table with us or the food can be brought to your room. And anything you need, you only have to ask for it and it shall be provided to you. A new shirt, new shoes, whatever you need just ask for it and you will have it. So you see, there is no need for pay or money."This is the same with all of the guards - none of them get paid wages. I do this to prevent them from becoming swords for hire. I don't want to have to worry that one of my guards will become a mercenary and that their sword. "Just then, Carly's older brother Spencer joins the three teens in the living room."Hey! Hi guys," he says. "What's up?" Well, Carly just saw this Bigfoot story on the news," Sam replies. "And then went all OO-EE-OO-EE on us." You saw the Bigfoot video on the news," Carly responded defensively."People fake shit like that all the time," Sam tells Carly."Is this about the F you got from Mrs. Cuntwell?" Spencer asked his little sister."Maybe," Carly pouts."Kid, there's no such thing as Bigfoot," Spencer tells her."Oh, but there is such a thing as the beav-coon," Carly retorts."Yes, there surely is," Spencer replies."Err, what's a beav-coon?" Freddy asked."A creature that lives in Spencer's diseased imagination," Carly teases."I saw one with my own eyes," Spencer explains. "It's a creature about yea wide, and yea long. It has the head of a beaver and the body of a raccoon." The ... beav-coon," Sam replies."YES!" Spencer shouts out in triumph. "And it went H-E-R-R-R-R-R-R!!" Spencer, there.
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