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Take orgasms, for example. They told us orgasms happen when you’re married to a woman and you want to make a baby. They never once mentioned masturbation, so the idea that I might make myself have an orgasm never occurred to me. They told me about intercourse, too, for all the good it did. They said you put your penis in her vagina, and you have an orgasm. I didn’t even know I’d have to rub it in and out. They never told us that. My parents didn’t help. I can’t even picture them having sex. How they brought me into the world is anyone’s guess. I’ll wager immaculate conception.It simply took me a while to figure things out. Maybe I’m just a slow learner.Here’s how I got my education.* * *It was the middle of summer, right after I’d graduated. I still remember the buzz of locusts high in the neighborhood trees. I had a friend down the street, Jason, and I walked over to his house with a basketball under my arm, hoping to play pickup in his driveway. I didn’t bother with a t-shirt, not. There's talk about going to Yellowstone or one of thebig parks.Jamie: That sounds cool.Jamie: Where do you hang out?I waited and waited and then waited some more.Jamie: We could chat later if you're busy.Elizabeth: Sorry. I'm chatting with my boyfriend too.Jamie: Won't he be upset about you talking to me?Elizabeth: Why would he care? I mean you're gay aren't you?Jamie: No, I'm not.Elizabeth: But you wear pantyhose.Jamie: They're clothes. That doesn't mean I'm gay.Elizabeth: I'm sorry. I just assumed you were.Jamie: I'll talk to you later.Elizabeth: byeI shut down the chat window and then shut down the computer. I wanted tocry and smash something at the same time. I felt sick. Did Megan think Iwas gay too? Even my mother had asked if I was gay. Women wear jeans andt-shirts. I don't ask them if they're gay. I went to my room and lay facedown on the bed. I thought about talking to my mother about not wearinghose anymore but a part of me shouted no. I wanted to wear hose. I lay onmy bed.
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