I am damned to be indiscriminate, forced to take you as you are, young, old, wandering the night cast over your living world in search of a pleasure that will never come. Tonight, my wanderings will bring me to your bed, to find you in your fitful sleep and fill your dreams with visions of a Heaven that I will never know. You are lying naked and exposed, sky blue bed linens mussed and tangled in your legs, when I manifest myself in your room. I cast an appraising glance at the crucifix hanging on the wall by the door, assessing its power. I know instantly that the cheap oak has never felt the touch of holy water, that the cracked and varnished plastic form of Jesus in His suffering has never had those secret, powerful words muttered over it, that it is a mere decoration and not a talisman with any power against me. I laugh and my laughter tumbles and turns, transforming into my hands, sending the crucifix flying off the wall to skitter like a mere spider across the bare hardwood. Numberone, you can do your goddamned job and take the call. Numbertwo, I can call help-desk back and cold transfer the bitchwithout any warning. Number three, I can 'accidentally'disconnect her and let the next unfortunate rep deal with her."Finishing off my entry in the customer's database file as Ispoke, I told Andrew, "I was supposed to be out of here twentyminutes ago and I ain't dealing with her again." I saved theentry and began logging off the system. "So ... bud -- what's itgonna be?" -----Cold, wet, and in a foul mood, I trudged across the slushystreet and jerked open the door to the gym. Usually, I lookedforward to my workout as a chance to forget my troubles, workout a few frustrations, and -- best of all -- bond with myGoddess. This was just one of those days, though, that wasn'tgoing to be so easily dismissed from my mind.Apparently, I must have looked as pissed as I felt, because thenormally outgoing receptionist didn't even try to strike up.
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