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They often had to translate for Stephanie’s fiancé since he didn’t spend nearly as much time with her as they did.“Are you nervous?”Before Stephanie had a chance to gag a response, the opening notes of Here Comes The Bride told the human pig-roast that it was time to shuffle awkwardly down the aisle. The two pantsless men made their way to the altar, Stephanie’s dangling limbs between them, under the accusatory glares of both the bride and groom’s families. Stephanie’s parents, who had already paid for the reception, were especially sour at having their daughter double-stuffed in front of hundreds of guests by older men they were never even introduced to.The groom could not spot his bride in the procession, only the back of one of his "best man’s" tuxedo. Once they stepped up the stairs and rotated, he saw the radiant redhead he fell in love with… the left side of her face anyway.The ceremony was as traditional as could be outside the fact that the bride was getting fucked in the. The cabbie waited till I got her to the door and rang the doorbell (perhaps to make sure I had no nefarious intentions) before leaving me hanging and also canceled my trip.I rang the bell again. The lights were on, but nobody was home. I decided to try and see if she would wake up and tell me where to go next. “Hey!” I said, shaking her shoulder.“Hey!” I said again in Kannada, using my most convincing voice. She finally opened her eyes and looked at me with a blank expression on her face. “Where are you from?” I asked in Kannada, “Can you speak English?” She took a few more moments to comprehend what I said and then nodded.I asked her, “Is anyone home?”“Ummmm hmmm,” she said, shaking her head in the negative, still swaying, quite drunk, “just you and me and lots of naked fun,” she added, thinking I was the guy she wanted to meet at the club. Still wanting it to be true, I had to have control.She put her hands around my neck and leaned in as if to kiss me. But she almost passed out.
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