A partof me wanted her to refuse, while another part couldn’twait for it to happen.“Okay,” said Patty, “but not in front of you, I don’twant you to see. Will you go outside?”“No way Patty. If you’re going to go through with thisyou have to let me watch.”“I won’t do it in front of you. I don’t want you to seeme with someone else.” Patty looked over at his dick,then back at me. “I don’t know if I can do it with youright here.” She paused. “Please just go outside?”“Patty,” I said “I want to watch you.”“His dick is bigger than yours, could you handlewatching me take that?” She paused again, but didn’twait for an answer. “I’ll let you listen, just go rightoutside.”I told her again the only way she could do it was withan audience.“Can we put the covers over us?” She asked. I could tell she wasn’t going to. ” Those words alone reach deep in to the recesses of my psyche and a myriad of feelings explode within me; primarily lust, but also fear and anxiety. Overriding the last two though, I feel cherished. He knows this is what I crave from him, what I need. Every venture into my submission to Patrick has been so carefully weighed by him. He’s pushed me and challenged me at every turn, but never more than I could reasonably accomplish. The only time I’d ever considered safe wording was when my emotions felt too raw and exposed. If he feels I’m ready for this, then I trust him with all of my heart. I also know that by accepting whatever he gives me, I’m giving back to him so much more. He’d previously mentioned that spanking was not necessarily punishment, and I appreciate that my first will not be from any transgression on my part. I suspect that he has planned it that way too. What I experience tomorrow night will be purely from the pleasure we both derive from the experience, without any.
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