“Don’t fucking touch the goods mister. It’s not me you’re buying.”From then on whether we were on or off camera she took the piss out of me relentlessly, about my size, my taste, my car, my clothes and I didn’t like it. I’m not used to girls treating me like that. Yes OK - take the piss in good nature and with humour, but hers was biting and aimed like barbed spears.Weeks later, the wife fucked off and I saw Rani on screen a few times and she annoyed me with her non stop cackling laugh, which I must admit I hadn’t noticed on the programme, probably because I was too busy concentrating on getting into her knickers and not the house we weren’t going to buy. By sheer chance I happened on a conversation in a pub one lunchtime, where a group of people were saying their house was to be featured on the programme. I delayed my journey in the locality and when they left I followed them home. It was a superb, large and expensive looking property, right out in the sticks. I made some telephone. And I want you to wear outfits that let me see you. That showcase your legs, your waist, you bustline, your skin, your face. That make you look sexy and make me want you. That’s how I want you to dress. Understand? No rules.”Elyse leaned over the armrest and kissed me lightly. “And have I told you how sweet you are?”I snorted in response.“Do you prefer classy, flashy, or trashy?” she asked.“Jesus! More questions! All of the above! Use your judgment!” I said, exasperatedly.“Well, excuse me!” she protested. “I’m just trying to learn what you like.”We sat in silence about five minutes. Then I turned back to her. “I’m sorry if I was short with you.”“No, I’m sorry I was pestering you,” she responded.“You weren’t. Let me explain.” I gathered my thoughts together. “My first wife didn’t want to dress for my tastes. Her standard mode of dress was baggy jeans, a tee shirt, sneakers and socks, and industrial strength underwear. Unless we were going out, she never, ever, wore a dress or a skirt..
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