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I know this because I've thrown dozens of things at the noisy mutt and never even come close to beaning him.Which was why I was astonished to be wakened on Sunday by the phone ringing instead of Bandit barking. Well, truth be told, as soon as the phone started ringing, he did start barking, but it was the phone that woke me up.I scrambled for the receiver knowing that if Bandit got there first I'd have to chase him, which would mean he'd run like blazes, pulling the phone off the night stand. He'd never broken a cord yet, but it wasn't from not trying."Owwww!" I yelled into the receiver as Bandit's jaws snapped closed with an audible click right next to my hand. He didn't actually touch me, but my mouth wasn't aware of that yet."Bob! What's wrong?" came Chris' anguished voice over the phone.I think Bandit heard her voice and recognized it, because when he landed on the floor he seemed to bounce like a rubber ball and ended up on top of me, trying to lick the receiver."Hello!"I. "I was always the last one out of the shop at night and I made the rounds checking windows, doors and lights. I made sure the air compressor was shut off and then I went to the service desk and started the procedure for shutting down the computer. While I was doing that I saw Mellissa come out of the office and head for me and when I turned to her to see what she wanted or needed she slapped me hard across the face and snarled at me:"You miserable bastard! How could you do to me what you did to me and then ignore me?"She went to slap me again and I caught her wrist and said, "Bullshit! If you wanted any attention from me you would have given me some indication." Like what?" Like everything you did that caused the last time to happen. For three years you teased the ass off of me and then for the last three weeks nothing, but since it is obvious to me now that you want more of what you got the last time let's get to it."I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her down on her.
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