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Still, as she said, how likely was it that someone I knew would come across this? Still, in a bit of shock, I rang her to suggest we needed to talk.“You are coming over after church, aren’t you? We can talk then,” said Beki, although with a strange emphasis on the word “talk”.God, yes, I was meant to be in church in ten minutes! And yet, how could I go with everything I had done these past two days? Somehow, Beki persuaded me to go, and I found myself sitting through a service with not the slightest idea of what was being said. Little did the people around me know what I had done these past few days or the lewd thoughts swirling through my brain.I was equally distracted over coffee, although I became aware that I was looking at the women around me differently. Beki had woken up something in me, so suddenly I was noticing more about the size of their tits or the roundness of their ass. None more so than when I found myself chatting to an eighteen-year-old Phoenicia. I’d watched her. "Oh, Darin, I guess I'm too old -- just not attractive enough." That's crap and we both know it. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known. You just need a man who's worthy of you. Someone you can trust to be there for you when you need him." I'm afraid men like that are few and far between." Maybe you don't have to look as far as you might think." What do you mean?" Sometimes the choice is obvious. Sometimes it's right under your nose. You just have to open your eyes and your arms." I don't..." she started."Isn't it obvious. Do you remember some time ago, before Pete moved into the picture, you're telling me I had to be the man of the house." Yes, of course." Okay, maybe I wasn't ready then, but I am now." Darin, what are you saying?" I'm saying I'm ready to be a man, Mom -- your man." Oh, Honey, that's so sweet and you know I love you more than anything, but the love of a son and mother is different from..." From what?" I asked, looking her directly in the eye."Well, different.
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