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"HOLY SHIT!" I screamed, threw the covers off and ripped off my robe. I was wearing girl's underwear -- and I could see why too. It fit me in ways they shouldn't be fitting. I grabbed again, where my penis should have been. Gone! I looked down and pulled the underwear away from my skin. It was tricky to see around the breasts but it was GONE! "TITS! DEAR SWEET CHRIST, I'M WEARING A PAIR OF FUCKING TITS!" I was nearly out of control, preparing to run out into the hall of the dorm. It was the only thing I could think to do; I had to get help. Suddenly, there were hands on my shoulders, trying to spin me around. "Ahhhhggggg!" There was a stranger in my room. "Don't hurt me, please. What did you do to me? Please, make it go awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy," I pleaded with the stranger. "MIKE!" "How did you?..." I blinked in a mind-clearing moment of recognition. Oh yeah. Then I remembered, "Gary?" "Yeah! Shit man, you scared the piss out of me. I thought you'd flipped out." Last night began to filter. I mean, what an opportunity? You were really cute back then, so mostly, it was all a bit of fun on my part.”“So that was all it was to you? Our marriage? A bit of fun?”“Yes, fucking fun. Imagine if I took it seriously, I might have ended up with a broken heart, but luckily you were just easy pussy. I guess I got complacent. I suppose I thought I’d be able to dupe you right to the end, but you got me good and I wasn’t really expecting you to start fucking somebody else, not when you were in your sagging sixties. So, I have to admit that I had had a bit of a hissy fit when it all ended and I heard you had taken a younger rival lover—”“Julian was never, I repeat, never ever my lover.”“So what? Look, I was probably angry on that Saturday when I found out. And because Villa had just lost at home, I was miserable and I didn’t want to speak to you, but you kept ringing me and I didn’t want to talk, so I threw the phone away ... while on the motorway. I’ve never even replaced it. In fact I.
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