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"Would you rather go in alone? You're the one that was elected to Congress. I don't want to steal any of your thunder or anything." My darling man, you're in this with me. I know that at least half the people that voted for me did so because they knew you were included in the deal. I want you with me, taking care of me, helping me remember names and faces, and looking like the sexiest man alive. Will you do that for me?"Five minutes later, Steve escorted Gwen into the ballroom. A pathway formed down the center of the room with people cheering and applauding as the couple made their way to the small stage. Both Steve and Gwen smiled and acknowledged people they knew as they slowly walked through the crowded room. Paula and Ted stood with Lisa, Kate, Jordan, Jason, Chip and Charlie and Gwen's closest friends and cheered with the best of them."Mom, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen," yelled Kate so that she could be heard above the din. "Gwen looks like a queen, and Steve is such. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making.
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