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”That was an order. There was no ‘please’ in that sentence. He didn’t make a request. It occurred to me that whether it’s intentional or not he’s once again playing the role of my next door neighbor in my adolescent fantasy!I squatted down carefully to pick up the towel. When I did he snapped, “NO! Not like that. Turn your back to me.”I did, knowing full well what his next command would be. And even as I turned away from him I felt myself slipping into that twenty year old fantasy. My next door neighbor was giving me orders as I stood naked at his insistence. It’s nearly as exciting as it was when I was thirteen!I could have bent down and picked up the towel. I knew what he wanted to see. But I need him to give the order.He knows it, too. He knows I want to hear the command. I heard it in his voice when in a stern tone he commanded, “Spread your legs shoulder width apart and pick up that towel without bending your knees, little girl.”When he called me little girl I nearly had another. .afraid to see the horrible damage she had done.... afraid to know. Again she told me to look and i did not want to know and cried out to her to not make me see this. Her voice became deeper and sterner as she commanded me to look and i could not resist this command and slowly allowed my eyes to gaze down upon my ruined chest. I was startled to see just a bright stripe running from my shoulder down to the top of my stomach. There were no deep cuts like i imagined...no horrible damage done and i knew then my back looked the same way. The mind is a horrible thing at times. It can make you think the worst has happened when in reality you are fine. Miss Sarah continued whipping my chest and arms and the molten lava spread like a wildfire engulfing me and bringing me into a place most call "sub space". However this is a place i prefer not to be in as to me it is not right. If i wanted to escape to never never land i would not play like i do. I feel this is wrong and cheats both my.
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