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I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with "the girls" a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENTThese are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER8 years old,Hateful little bastard.Bites!FREE PUPPIES1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.FREE PUPPIESMother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences. His replacement Belinda was more than a little imaginative. I was wary of her at first because she was the first black person I had ever encountered.She was not what was expected from a carer for a blind lady. Some of the things that she did just seemed to be more than a little strange. Just before Andrew was removed from his position of trust, he shaved me, for reasons best known to himself.When he was arrested the following morning, I still had a generous amount of his milky spunk in me from when he fucked me the night before. Yes, I did miss him. Belinda however thought otherwise and made it quite clear that she wanted my thick black rather matted pubes to all grow back again. I found her to be very attentive in many ways, she was clearly very experienced in matters which were not part of caring. Sometimes after bathing me she would tuck me up in bed and read me a nice story, I liked that, and she wanted me to call her mummy.We became quite close rather quickly. I was not so naive.
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