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Sometimes both.’ I knew without needing to think about it that my anger was an expression of fear. Fear over the way my life was out of control. Fear over never achieving what I had set out to achieve. Fear that as a scientist I would be insignificant, that my life and work would count for nothing. Fear of letting Miranda deeper into my life only to lose her next year. ‘And is there anything beneath fear?’ I asked, shivering at the chilly winter air. ‘Probably,’ he said. ‘We’re usually afraid when we’re exposed. When we feel vulnerable.’ ‘Vulnerable,’ I mused. ‘That’s exactly what it is when someone has the power to hurt you.’ ‘And we’re never more vulnerable, never more exposed to being hurt, than when we love,’ Andrew concluded. I looked for familiar constellations, but found none. Astronomy has never been my brand of science. I pondered Andrew’s suggestion. ‘So you’re saying I’m angry because I love Miranda? How counterintuitive!’ ‘Maybe,’ he shrugged. ‘I’m not saying anything for. “Just relax. Like I said, I'm not going to do anything you don't want. I just want to make you cum again. Relax and let me make you cum,” he said, the latter part a whisper. Behind me he was pumping his erection between my ass cheeks. He was leaning over me, his body consuming my body like a spider taking its prey. Damn it all, his fingers did feel good. He may not be the one, but he was making me hot in a way my own fingers had never been able to do. No! I shouldn't let this continue. I wasn't a slut. I – I came again. “Yeeessss, there you go. Let it happen. Come on little Sarah, let's cum together,” he said and I heard his zipper drop. My eyes opened wider still. I turned around and tried to face him. He kept one hand cupped over my small breast and the other hand down inside my pussy. “I thought we weren't going to...you know,” I said, my voice sounding immature and weak. “I'm not... I'm not. Don't worry. I just want to cum. I'm just going to push between your tight little ass.
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