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A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.”He zipped up and finished his shopping.At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the girl was that told him about his “barracks door.”He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?”The girl thought for a moment and said:“No, no I didn’t ... but I saw a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffle bags.”... A farmer had 5 female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The. She wasn’t in any sense boastful of our friendship, rather she just loved glamour. I decided, however, I was going to a country party and I could do without making myself look like a Hollywood stereotype, so I chose a very simple but, to my mind elegant, black silk sheath that came to my ankles. It was warm so I wore loose, silk knickers (my favourites anyway) and black sandals.Hamish dropped me off and Lilly met me at the open door. She’d acquired her large house following a nasty divorce which, she always claimed she had thoroughly enjoyed. Her ex-husband was a very wealthy businessman and her allowance alone would have made her rich. The house was a bonus. There was a band playing in the garden and a groaning table in the large dining room from which double French doors led out onto the terrace.“Who’s your target tonight, Lil?”“Funny you should ask. Do you know Christian Mellors?” Who didn’t? A famous barrister, a Queen’s Counsel in fact, and the scourge of newspapers who make.
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