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I just knelt there mesmerized and was in a trance.But something caught my attention and looked at what he was taking from his duffel bag. The bag was a lengthy one. Ideally a bag for a cricketer to carry his kit around. He took out 2 canes from inside the bag. I understood that he likes to punish and understood he was on the dominant side when he came hard hearing my cry of pain. There was no doubt that he enjoyed my pain. The way he pinched me and the way he did it more hard when I begged was clear indications of his dominant side. There were other signs now. He took one of the canes in his hand and swished it the air. My heart skipped a beat and also I noticed that his organ has grown back to its full length. A clear indication that he enjoys being dominant and that he likes to punish.He looked at my eyes and again swished the cane in the air. I think he was just doing it to scare me. I stared at his eyes with deep submission. He switched on the TV and a bollywood dance number came. The doctors who they referred me to, they don't know what to do with me.I mean, normally, you have to live as the other gender for a while beforeyou can switch and all this other crap, but my situation is....unique.They're starting me on hormones right away, which is something I suppose.They make me feel a little more...normal I guess you can call it, thoughI'm not sure that's quite the right word for it.It's still not like it was, but I guess it's something.March 23I've never felt so alone...I guess my whole...ordeal is starting to weird people out. I mean, eventhe people who stuck with me after I changed are starting to shy awayfrom me. Even Sally and Chris are starting to distance themselves, in apolite sort of way.They've got me going to some support group, but I'm even an outsiderthere. My situation...it's not really like anybody else's. A few of theothers are bitter that I'm cutting through a lot of the red tape that'sbeen holding them back for so long. A few more are jealous of.
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