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Just let me talk. You don’t know how difficult it is for me to be here like this.” She paused and sighed again before adding, “One thing I want to get straight, this is between me and you. I want … I need you to know I won’t be talking about this to anyone. Nobody else needs to know.”I was confused. I’d thought she was there to tell me off, to chastise me, to put me well and truly in my place so, baffled, I stammered, “I … I duh-don’t understand.”I’d risked another glance at her face as I said it. Saw her roll her eyes and grimace. “Bloody hell,” my aunt muttered to herself. She showed signs of a temper when she continued. “Look. All right, let’s stop the nonsense, Mikey. Let’s just be honest. I promise this is solely between us. I mean it. You can be truthful. I won’t be angry.”When I didn’t say anything, my Aunt Janet murmured, “Bloody hell. How many times…? All right, I’ll say it again. Mikey, I know you’ve been looking at me.”The denial rose in my throat while my overheated. When we did get together she looked much more like the girl I had seen that first day in the cafeteria than the one I had come to know. At one point I did not see her while I pulled a three-dayer to cover all the material I had put off while class was in session. I finished finals first and rushed over her dorm to see her but she wasn’t around. I was not allowed in the living area of a girls’ dorm and she didn’t answer her phone. I delayed returning home for the summer until I could see her. Finally, I did. She sat alone in the cafeteria as usual. She smiled when I approached, but there was great sadness in her eyes. It could have been anything, grades, family, our relationship or something entirely unknown to me. When I sat down, she took my hand, squeezed it and held on as if it were keeping her from plunging over a precipice. We did not speak for quite some time. ‘I’m going home,’ she said. ‘Me too.’ ‘I’m not coming back.’ I was stunned. ‘Why not?’ ‘I can’t make a life here..
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