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The sensation of the hand-job made me nostalgic about my days on the football team in high school. I didn’t really play, I just did ball handling skills in the change room. It wasn’t gay so it was ok Something about group golden showers made me feel like I was a part of something bigger, the loneliness would wash away over filling my mouth and dribbling down my chin. Growing up granddad would spank me for misbehaving. I looked forward to the beatings as his hand slapped me I would bite my lip it was ecstasy. When he died he was cremated, I had a dildo with a cavity in it, I filled it with his ashes and fucked my self with it while spanking my self with his ridding crop. He always called me a effeminate faggot in his later years after bringing a escort to a family dinner that turned out to be a man. I found out she was a dude after her cum got in my eye causing a infection, I have had a lazy eye ever since. "IM NOT FUCKING GAY GRANDAD!"Mummy switched on the TV I could hear the. I was powerless. I was a novelty. I was a toy, favorite because it was newest. It might be a long while before she tired of me, but the time would come. And when she finally set me free my mind would tear itself apart with wanting her.AS I SAT AMONG the silks with my control slipping away, I felt a wave of cold sweat sweep over my body. I clenched my jaw and felt a small anger flare up. Over the course of my life my mind has been the only thing I’ve always been able to rely on, the only thing that has always been entirely mine.I could feel my resolve melting as my natural desires were replaced by some animal thing unable to think beyond its own lust.The part of me that was still Kvothe raged, but I felt my body respond to her presence. With a horrible fascination I felt myself crawl through the cushions toward her. One arm found her slender waist, and I bent to kiss her with a terrible hunger.I howled inside my own mind. I have been beaten and whipped, starved and stabbed. But my mind.
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