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Willis, all of us in the lone star state absolutely love your music and your type of entertainment, and I was wondering if I could persuade you of coming back to Texas with me, and letting me help you start your record label on a bigger platoe." I say "Well I love the West Coast, I'm born and raised in San Jose, I don't know if I could turn my back on my hometown." You say "I'm sure they love you out here, but you've been working' mighty hard for some years trying to break into the business, I think its mighty time for a change." I say "I hear what you're saying' but...." You interrupt "Well Mr. Willis, what would I have to do to talk you into coming down to Texas?" I say "I notice that you were a film star." You say "Yes, but that was the past." I say "I liked, better yet loved your scenes, I also love those big ass titties you got." You say "Oh, well if you like these big titties, you're gonna love Texas. Since we're both done eating how about we go to the Escalade parked outside. ..How small is it?" came a voice from the audience."It's SO small it looks like an enlarged clitoris!" she scoffed, "I guess the only thing to do is dress you up in female clothing and humiliate you!" How did she make THAT connection? I wondered.Before I knew it, she had taken a huge wardrobe out of her briefcase and was dressing me in women's underwear. "Wow, it's like Mary Poppins, only you're a fat, mentally-disturbed bitch!" I thought/yelled out loud. She started with black lace panties (how clich??), followed by a well-padded black bra. She rolled black stockings up my legs and attached them to a black garter belt before pulling a black dress over my head. Then she put a black wig on my head and told me to wear a pair of black high-heeled shoes. Then she made a pot of black coffee, pulled out a black cell phone and began blackmailing people on her blacklist. By this time I was sensing a definite pattern- this woman had no taste whatsoever. Then she ordered me to look at myself in.
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