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Valentine’s Day but was too embarrassed to go into a lingerie shop and buy it himself. He wanted me to make the purchase for him. Why didn’t he just order it online? Why was he asking me? He had only met me the once, surely he had other female friends he could ask to help? He explained to me that he didn’t know anything about women’s sizes and apart from a few inches in height I am about the same size as her so would know exactly what sizes to buy. He also said that he had something else he wished to discuss specifically with me and that’s why he hadn’t asked for help from anyone else. I hate myself sometimes for being so easy to manipulate. “Okay Toby, I’ll help. Do you know what type of underwear you’re looking for? “Thank you so much. Sort of but not really, your advice will be very helpful” “Well do you want to buy her something sluttish, classy, exotic, raunchy or fetish?” After a few moments of considered silence Toby said he thought raunchy sounded like the sort of thing. Such a dull name for such a hunky specimen. He’s so perfectly shaped with those cheekbones chiselled by God and shoulders that could carry the world, my world. Why are all the good ones always married? I want him, yet that admittedly-beautiful bitch of his secured the prize long before I even met their family for the first time. Our eyes met though, the last time they checked in here. The children were giving their mother some trouble with the suitcases which enabled that briefest of non-verbal connections between us, I could have melted. This hangover’s going to last the whole damn day! It’s evening now, six forty-five. Still, my hangover’s faded and almost gone now but not after spending a day with an empty bin can under the desk in case of emergency vomiting. It’s typical that Diane needed to take her shift off the day I feel so awful. But oh how fate loves me. In through those large white entrance arches walks the perfect form of Mr. Atkinson. My body is brought to attention in.
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