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And then it was my turn at the front of the line. I freely admit that this re­search was high­ly non-sci­en­tif­ic but I put in my order. “Say,” I told the girl tak­ing the or­ders, “some­one told me you guys were wear­ing thongs in here.” Man, I felt stupid say­ing that.“You want to see my thong,” said the girl asked the counter.“Yes, I mean no, I mean, I was just ask­ing you know. I mean, I don’t want to cause any trou­ble, you know.”“It’s no trou­ble at all,” the girl said. She al­ready had her jeans opened and she was push­ing them down past her hips. “See,” she said. “Here it is.”I cer­tain­ly did see. The girl was wear­ing a lit­tle, yel­low thong.“I, um, I ... thanks for show­ing that to me.”“It’s no trou­ble at all,” the girl said. “All you had to do was ask.”I couldn’t help but no­tice the look that the girl who was mak­ing my drink gave me when she fi­nal­ly hand­ed it over. If I didn’t know bet­ter, I would have said she looked hurt.I took my drink and found a place in the. “About three days,” I answered.“So you and Colin had unprotected sex twelve days after you started your period?” Mom asked. I nodded yes, confused why she had me repeat the answer.“If you are going to follow church teachings on birth control, we are going to need to get you properly trained in fertility signs and timing,” Mom said. “What is the shortest number of days between periods this past year?”“Twenty-seven,” I answered.“The longest?”“Thirty-one,” I replied.“OK, to calculate safe times of the month for unprotected sex, subtract twenty from your shortest time between periods. You get seven. Unprotected sex should be safe from day 1, the first day of your period until Day 7. The next couple or so weeks is unsafe.”“OK,” I agreed.“Here is the nine you remembered,” Mom explained. “Subtract nine from the number of days in your longest period: 31 – 9 = 22. You are safe between Day 1 and 7 and Day 22 and when you begin your next period. What day are you in your cycle today?”“Um ... Day.
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