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Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.16.. White as white can be. The lettuce wasn’t wilted, but somehow the club had leached the flavor out of it. The Wonder Bread sandwich had been quartered and the crusts neatly trimmed. A solitary dab of Miracle Whip was carefully dabbed onto each segment. Just enough to make the bread soggy, but not so much that a droplet would foul the white tablecloth.Ash had ordered chili, probably a safer bet. But if chili can be conservative, the Corinthian managed it. White bean and chicken. Three Ritz crackers rode shotgun. Incongruously, I was given a small, cellophane-wrapped package of oyster crackers with my sandwich.But we weren’t there for the food. Looking around at the 20-foot ceilings, the plump white columns, the stuffy oil portraits dating back to the 1890s, I guessed we were in the hushed club for a this-is-your-life chat.I spotted Bulldog Bannerman a few tables away. He was in an earnest discussion with three men I didn’t recognize. He glanced at me, looked back to his lunch.
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