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Any deviation from my routine, any unexpected interference caused me to miss my evening meal or become agitated. Dan learned not to include me in evening plans if he wanted to take mom out to dinner or to the movies. My mom was coping with her loss much better, but she also had been prescribed anti-depressants since the wreck. Dan couldn’t understand why she still needed to take them, when she had him to ease the pain. He resented her need to take the pills, assuming it meant she still ached for her dead husband. Truth is, she still did feel the pain of loss every day, but she did a good job of being a dutiful wife and mother, never talking about her own needs. By the time I joined the varsity track team, in my sophomore year, I was one of the top cross country runners my district. I was skinny as a rail, but I could run. My dosage of meds had stabilized and I had adapted fairly well. Then, without warning, another change came. I didn’t do well with change in those days. My mother. His hands grabbed the hem of my shirt and brought it up over my head, making sure to quickly regain contact with my mouth as soon as the cloth was removed. Next he allowed his hands to roam across my now bare skin. His nimble fingers teased and tickled my flesh with soft strokes and slow movements. I grabbed his hands which finally reached my waist, and forced them back up my body, pressing them firmly against me as they traveled. I led them to my satin bra and showed them where the front clasp was before raising my hands above my head so that he could do what he pleased with the new information.He gladly accepted the hint and immediately undid the small clasp, freeing my breasts from their confinement. He broke contact with my lips and raised his head so he could appreciate his handy work. I could hear his heartbeat speed up faster than it already was. His breath caught in his throat and his lips parted as if he was going to say something. Instead, he slowly moved his head down.
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