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When I was about 16 though I started getting feelings about her. She was about 50 single with two boya. Very dark hair lots of it.Pretty for her age. I loved her juicy shapely arse more than any thing though.I started watching her through my bedroom window and wanking off over her. I loved seeing her in her work clothes. Very tight black trousers caressing her round shapely but full arse. Usually with Tights or stockings and black high heel shoes. For some reason I wanted her to see me naked. My cock was becoming quite a nice size by now. I started off standing on my bed in the window towling myself down, pretending I'd had a bath and I was unaware of her but making sure she saw me naked. Not to close to the window. I started noting the times she would appear on the garden and got ready for her daily. She must have seen my cock hundreds of times. Anytime I could show her I would. Then one day she came out onto the garden and began pottering round her flowers. Skirt on and squatting. What I think is that I just want to feel whole again. I want my journey of the self to come to completion so I can figure out who the fuck I really am. I feel like I’m stuck in the underworld right now with the pale moon just visible above me through the furnace flames. The World tells me that not all is lost, that the journey continues towards completion, but right now it’s pretty hard for me to believe that I’ll ever feel whole again. Oblivion beckons. And even if it doesn’t turn out to be oblivion at all, at least it will be a change of scene. I look at the blade. I think of the Moon. I think of the World. One more card to decide me. The card that tells me my future. This card will tell me to live or to die. I turn it over. The Future Flip. Judgment. A choice. Well, I guess that’s what it all comes down to isn’t it? A choice. Was I expecting a yes or no answer? I look at the image of Judgment. It depicts an angel soaring above an ocean, his golden trumpet blaring loud enough to.
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