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"He's not a hero, Mom. He hasn't been to war. He hasn't been anywhere near a battle zone. Just because a guy serves in the army and then gets discharged doesn't mean the town has a parade. That would detract from the accomplishments of the soldier's that were in the war zone. I am sure that he would be terribly embarrassed if you did this." Cathy, what don't you understand? How can you say such things? He is your husband! He is our son! Of course he is a hero." Mother, it was not a war zone. I lived there with him for more than a year. Our daughter was conceived there. Believe me, nobody was shooting at us. We are not having a parade!"And so it went every evening and sometimes during the day, for two solid weeks; Cathy's mother-in-law would telephone, or come to their house, and ask about the welcome home celebration. Each day, Cathy would go into her office and face new challenges and opportunities of the type that justified her appointment to that position. By nightfall, Cathy was. One thing I'd figured out from all my reading was that even grown-ups were confused at just what love is. So how the hell was I supposed to know?Then Tami brings me a girl and tells me to 'do something about it.' That wasn't normal, was it? And Kelly was a fifth grader, too. Almost like Maryann Simpson.Then there's Robbie. Robbie made me feel funny inside. But a different kind of funny than Tami. It couldn't be love, because it was different from what I felt for Tami. It wasn't just lust. I knew what lust felt like. Lust was Robbie's sister, Samantha, who not only was a swimsuit model but had just missed getting the cover of this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. After sitting across from her at dinner I knew the editors were crazy.So to recap: I was in love with Tami. I felt something more than lust for Robbie. And I'd give my spleen for a kiss from sister Samantha. And adults talk about the simple times of childhood. To quote Ebenezer Scrooge, 'Bah humbug!'I wondered.
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