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Sitting 3 blocks away at the local Exxon station. It could have been worse, I thought to myself. Trudging my way along, kicking up an occasional spray from the puddles along the way, I thought how it's only a mile from my house. The light rain continued to fall, but undaunted I walked on. The rain isn't too bad, unless it's really cold out, or you need to keep the clothes dry. Looking, to make sure no cars would turn toward me, I stepped into the side street that crossed my path. Just as I was reaching the other side, a car came speeding along and as it's tires hit the puddle by the curb, I was drenched in the wave of water that rose up. "Shit" I muttered. The rain is one thing, but I was soaked now. Looking up, I was surprised to see the brake lights of the car, a light cream colored Volvo, as it pulled to the curb 50 feet ahead. Walking forward, I watched as the car slowly backed toward me. "Are you ok?" the voice said. A female voice, soft but otherwise unremarkable. "I'm really. I felt like a bunch of baby rats were running around my stomach and scratching at the walls trying to escape. The thought of all those rats in my stomach made me feel even sicker. I felt like the rats were eating each other and pooping each other out all over my insides and my stomach was filling with their guts and poop. The thought of all that blood and poop made me feel even sicker. Before I knew it I was vomiting onto the conference table. The vomit went everywhere. It covered everyone’s diversity packets and it ruined all of Kelly’s smoked salmon plate. Jim kept ramming his hand into Lisa’s yoni but everyone else turned towards me.“Sorry. I just thought maybe some rats were in my stomach.” I said, which in retrospect sounds really stupid I think.“Greg, ew.” Kelly said. Then before I knew it, Kelly’s face was on my face. She was kissing me. I hadn’t been kissed in years so at first I thought she was trying to eat the throw up out of my mouth and I thought How dare you say ‘ew’ at.
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