’ I took a step back, reeling at the information, trying to sort fact from fiction. It was an impossible game of he-said-she-said. I was no longer confident I was in the right. I felt weaker. Amber’s nervousness about the meeting could now mean two things. Her ‘no matter what, know that I love you’ was now tainted. I looked down at the ground and rubbed the back of my hand across my lips. ‘Fuck!’ I shouted. Pablo jumped, thinking it was a signal. My head was hurting as all my thoughts got jumbled up. I was rethinking every word Amber had told me. I couldn’t separate truth from lies. ‘She will kill you,’ Pablo said. I pointed my finger at him and I saw the color leave his face. I was pretty sure Frank and Gabby would not shoot an unarmed man who seemed such a little threat, but Pablo didn’t know that. I slowly lowered my arm, not sure if I was threatening the right person. Maybe the finger should be pointed at my head. An old sucker that should have known better than to let someone. And then it was 2011. After the fact, they didn’t even try to call me on the phone. We were done. We were for sure done. Phoenix might never see my face again. And certainly not castle Cord regardless.But there was Lana, and there was the VFW, and there was our future. And our future, if not exactly bright, at least it had purpose, something that had been sorely lacking since my return to the states after my stint in the brown dirt country.Lana and I had a lot in common, and we needed each other. Apart from our more or less satisfying love life, there was the confluence of prime attributes: she had legs, and I could see. I had a truck that I could drive us places in. And she had the movie start looks, well in my opinion, and I had the good luck to be her consort.We often got looks from the locals. The gawking was a problem, but more so for me than for her, since she couldn’t see them, and I could. I was so damn ugly that I’m sure the gawkers were also jokers. Well, I had to allow that.
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