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There was the beginning of a smile, but it vanished as she mulled over what she should ask next. I thought she blushed when, her voice low, she asked, “Have you known other women like me? I mean, as lovers?”I could have responded by playing with the ambivalence in Helen’s question and ignore her desire to know more about the man she had, almost blindly given herself to in the hope that he would satisfy a long repressed longing.Today she had unreservedly embraced what we could be for each other: Partners in Sin! Helen knew that it had to be kept separate from her orderly, married life which she did not want to endanger. I needed, therefore, to put her mind at ease. I had to tell her honestly how I saw myself as a married man, a human being, and her illicit lover.So, I started by confessing that I was not an Alpha male. I had remained a virgin until the end of my teens. I was too shy and well-behaved to pressure girls, as inexperienced as I, into sex. After migrating to Australia when. Though, I new I shouldn't cry because I might ruin my makeup. Instead,I just bit my soft, gloss-covered lower lip and made myself look thatmuch cuter, but pathetic at the same time. I then felt a comfortinghand on my shoulder.I somehow knew it was going to be Hailey. I knew she'd always beenthere for me when I was down, and I was there for her. "That we're suchgreat BFFs!" I thought. I turned around to face her, and she had almostan expression of mock sympathy on her face."Aww, honey! What's the matter?" she pouted at me."Like... I can't keep going like this!" I pleaded. "Please give me backmy life! I know it's totally just a dream, but it feels soooo real!"Hailey just leaned in and gave me a big hug. I hated how much of a teengirl I sounded like. It was so whiny, and my speech almost always had a"like" or a "totes" in there with some sort of gleeful inflection. Butthis hug made me feel better. I knew it had true meaning despite howevil a bitch part of me thought she.
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