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But I always seem to hook up with losers. There I was, adjusting the bike's seat and feeling sorry for myself, when I heard a rustling from the direction of the fireplace. The fire had gone out hours ago. When I went to investigate, I found sooty footprints leading to the kitchen. Did someone break in? I wielded the fireplace poker and followed the trail. As I peered round the corner I was shocked to see a guy in a Santa suit standing in my kitchen, pouring a glass of milk. I was so stunned I couldn't even answer when he asked me where the cookies were. He laughed and said, "Don't look so surprised to see me. I'm here to grant your Christmas wish." "Oh, the boys don't really need any more presents," I started to say. "It's not for the children," he replied, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I'm here to grant your Christmas wish, sugarplum. Look!" He grabbed his crotch, pulling tight the fabric of his red breeches and revealing the outline of an enormous schlong. "Santa's got a. The three of them were not to be denied, and they quickly cut us off, two in front and one in back.“If I say go, you fall to the floor and curl up.” I muttered out of the side of my mouth. These guys were not all that much bigger, but there were more of them and if they didn’t care if they died, I was in big trouble.“I said, I want to see your tits, sweetheart.” one of the growled, moving closer. He had a face like a pizza and the closer he got, the worse he smelled. He looked totally stoned on something, which made me feel even worse about my chances, but no one would ever lay a hand on Ames and walk away unscathed.In my pocket were fifty, one-inch washers, taped together and stuck in a winter sock. I had started carrying it after the Tawan incident, in case of reprisals, and I had tested it against a 2x4, smashing the board to splinters.When the guy reached out for Ames, I pulled it from my rear pocket, swinging it as hard as I could. The end of the sock picking up momentum as it.
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