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If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I've never before heard – I'll let you go..."The old gentleman paused then said, "Thirty three years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman;I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the copper.QueenslandThe owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said,"You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,"Everything but my earrings."TasmaniaA senior citizen in Tasmania was overheard saying,"When the end of the world comes, I hope to be here."When asked why, he replied,"I'd rather be in Tasmania 'cause everything happens in Tasmania 20 years later than in the rest of the world."Northern TerritoryThe young man from NT came running into the. If I didn’t know about Sharon, I’d feel really pissed and uncomfortable, but I do understand. You need to do the same with Gretchen before you have sex with someone else, too, you know. Bond with her. Let your relationship become the center of who you are. Then you can open your arms to us and not be afraid.’ I snorted and tried to get the bottle, but Lisa set it on the ground away from me. ‘She has sex with people for money.’ I said petulantly. ‘How does that fit into this mess?’ ‘Does it bother you?’ Lisa asked, sitting back down, but keeping my hand in hers. ‘Yes. No. Some,’ I admitted. ‘Then ask her not to,’ Lisa said. ‘Ask her not to until you feel comfortable with it.’ ‘She’ll fight me on that,’ I laughed. ‘She said I knew who she was when we met and I can’t tell her not to do it.’ ‘She will if she loves you,’ Lisa said. ‘We talked about why we were saying no after you left and she agreed with us, so she does understand. Did you ask her to stop for a while or did you tell her.
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