Self Teasing

"You two are having sex? What the fuck? I was talking about you two stealing mom's booze from her room!" Aaron stopped. Shit, did I just fuck this up? He pondered what a potentially huge mistake he made, before he realized the last part must have been a joke. Stephen laughed nervously. "No, no, sorry. Sorry. I knew about the sleeping together and was talking about that. I was just trying to make a joke to diffuse an awkward situation." "Oh, thank God! You had me going there for a second," Aaron laughed nervously. He waited for a bit then asked, "How did you know?" "I heard sexual noises a couple times when I woke up in the middle of the night, and since you were supposed to be sleeping on the couch which was downstairs and the noise was coming from upstairs I kind of figured that must be what was happening, since she's never had a one night stand or anything. I walked out and saw the couch empty to confirm it. Also the times when the two of you leave together and then come back an. The remainder were woefully inadequate to the demand draw and promptly shut themselves down in order to prevent catastrophic damage to themselves.It was quite a disaster, and his court-martial was quickly concluded with a dishonorable discharge. We decided to keep him at his original E-5 rank, rather than the E-1 he got busted to, in recognition of such a supreme accomplishment.Private Gordon Smith was a junior sonar operator aboard the USS Mississippi, a Virginia class attack submarine based out of Pearl Harbor. His weapons department commander had thought that Private Smith’s fine physique trimmed his jib perfectly and when Smith finally got fed up with the unwanted advances he could not escape, he unbolted the supports for a rack of hard disk arrays, wrote some software on the primary server that could make all the internal arms that moved back and forth across all the spinning hard disks abruptly shift in unison. One late evening and on Smith’s command, the the disk array started.
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