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. this bi girl that’s going to love and worship that thing between his legs in the end. I’ll simply have no choice.” Billy wailed, rung her hands, and complained to her very attentive understanding audience of three.“Is that so bad Billy? I can see he isn’t exactly a Greek Adonis, God’s gift to womankind, and all that, ha, ha. In fact he’s a little older and stringer than I usually prefer my men, but he doesn’t look that bad really. With a little work I’m sure he’ll clean up nicely. Of course those cloths have to go.” Uremia laughed, as she leered at me across the table, me in my very colorful loose green and blue flower patterned Hawaiian shirt, faded Levi jeans, and old red tennis shoes.“Hey! We haven’t got to inspect what’s really important to us Billy. How’s his junk?” Alice and Brandy asked and winked at each other and Uremia.“Oh, I can assure you that it’s better than average from the one time I’ve got to use the package.” Liz spoke up from the sidelines in my defense. Sometimes. The following quotations never hit the airwaves but here they are just for you: ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!1. When I was born, I was given a choice: a big pecker and a long tongue “or” a good memory ... I don’t remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.12. Marriage is the only war where you get to.
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