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It made me feel less than human and more like some visitor from an alien planet using my own species for my pleasure and too dangerous for meaningful actions.I was unable to share my fears with any of my followers or the females that shared my bed because it would taint their thinking about the universe and leave me open to suspicion of witchcraft or some sort of mental breakdown.I had the sense that the Indians that came into contact with me knew I was not of this plane of existence. At least, they didn’t think I had some sort of white man agenda that included genocide or improvised deportation from their own country of origin.I remember I had mixed feelings about the Custer massacre because my head was with the Seventh Cavalry and all those troopers with second-rate rifles and at the same time my gut was with the brave warriors saddened over the loss of their hunting grounds and the end of the waves of buffalo that roamed wild over the silent plain. I think the Indians knew my. The very notion implies stagnation. That is the realreason I've agonized over the attempt to achieve perfection. It's who Iam. It's the cornerstone of my every action, a whole reason for living!The only thing that has kept me going is the determination to exceed mygrasp, trying to hold onto something that in the end, may in fact beunreachable. Always strive to be better than anything that came beforeyou, but not perfect!To see someone else attain it as easily as Faye did, without eventrying? Well...there's only so much a guy can take.Bobbie sat across me looking aghast, frantically pawing at her body indisbelief, a body which didn't belong to her. It was Faye's body.Somehow, just by touching me, she had been affected...something aboutthe power that Lust had instilled within me, had overwhelmed her in thatmoment of physical contact. Changed her. And now, for the second time inmy life, I was looking at a person who had stolen what was rightfullymine."Oh god, Nick! What happened?.
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