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Chapter 6: Fast Times at Mid Mountain Middle SchoolJim woke up, smelling bacon. Bacon was the most perfect food in all ofthe Realities, he knew it to be a fact, just ask him. Michelle was gonefrom the bed. He got up, used the bathroom, threw on some sweatpantsand wandered into the kitchen. Michelle was there, nightgown andslippers, his hair loose and draped down his back, making bacon, eggsand hash brown potatoes. Jim is salivating."I thought you could not cook, Mikey. I assumed I would have to do allthat." Jim said."I used the unit, it did all of this, but I bet I could do it myselftomorrow. Besides, I kind of enjoy keeping house for my guy, even ifhe's on loan from my other best friend." Michelle replied.An hour later, they are approaching the school. Jim parks the car andMichelle, dressed like a professional child psychologist waits at thedoor for him. Jim joins him, opens the door and they ask the officemanger if they can see the principal.Mrs. Donahue is a neat and trim woman in. “Okay, go get some bottles,” Bert told Jeff as he staggered over to collect his rifle.“Oh no! Fuck this!” Karen declared in horrified indignation. “I’m not staying anywhere near this place if you drunk assholes are gonna start shooting off that gun!” she told them, as she stormed briskly back into the woods.“Karen! It’s totally fine. We’re just gonna shoot some bottles, that’s all. You got nothing to worry about, I promise,” Bert tried to assuage her, to no avail. “Karen? C’mon don’t be such a pussy! KAREN?” his voice grew louder and louder the further she marched from the campfire. Karen didn’t so much as hesitate in her hasty retreat, much less respond to him. “Eh, fuck her,” Bert dismissively shrugged.He carried the rifle over to Jeff, then helped him set their targets up. It was difficult because the log was round and uneven, and their extreme intoxication certainly didn’t make the task any easier. When they finally managed to get all five bottles to stay upright, they withdrew.
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