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The other thing, the more important thing, was I stopped trying and so did she. When we got married,I told myself I was lucky and I meant it. She’s amazing. But when I allow myself to be honest, I haven’t looked at her thatway for some time. And I didn’t want to any longer. These one-night affairs I had on the road taught me a couple of things about myself. Or rather, those hours on the airplane flying home from some strange city allowed me to stop rationalizing what I was doing and admit to myself what I really needed. Her divorcing me was only the kick in the ass to get me to wake up.I realized women were nice, but that they didn’t really do anything for me anymore. I’ve had my chances and always turned them down, gently. And then said yes when a guy would message me on the app.The other thing I realized was that I wanted my coworker. This was problematic, as he was married and already rejected me. I made all the excuses for him I could but in the end him not coming up to my room. .. if I may be so bold, how long do you think those war games are going to last? We’re starting to get questions that I don’t know how to answer.”“Oh, I expect most things to wrap up here within a few days.” He nodded in thanks.Walking down the street, Fasendil looked around in remembrance. “It’s been decades since I’ve been here. Not much has changed, though. This isn’t the part of town I grew up in. I’ve been here before, of course, just...” He paused for a moment. “No Daedra to attack now. Now we can have the Empire that Martin wanted. This moment, this has made my life, my career worth it, worth the sacrifice that soldier made for me so long ago. Thank you.”“You’re not planning on doing anything stupid now, are you? That sounds suspiciously like you’re talking about a bad prophecy.”He started. “Oh, I suppose it does. No, it’s just the ramblings of an old soldier. I think when this is done, I’m retiring. As Irileth so eloquently pointed out, sometimes you can see too much, have too.
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