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Frueher sogar oft mit Taschenlampe, damit meine Elternnichts merkten, wenn sie an meinem Zimmer vorbeigingen.Im Prinzip ist der Computer gar nicht so uebel. Nur moechte ich eigentlichganz gern meine Gefuehle in mein Tagebuch schreiben. Und irgendwiegelingt mir das nicht so recht, wenn ich da an einem Computer sitze. Da hatman Emotionen die man gern zu Papier bringen wuerde, und dann sitztman vor einem grauen Kasten und die ganzen Empfindungen, die maneigentlich niederschreiben wollte, sind weg.Warum ich unbedingt ein elektronisches Tagebuch haben moechte? Nun,das werdet Ihr wohl mit diesem jetzt in diesem Moment gelesenen Satzbegreifen. Ja, ich will mal einen Ausschnitt meines Lebens in die Welthinausschreien. Manchmal zerreisst es mich gefuehlsmaessig geradezu.Manchmal war ich wie am Boden zerstoert, so dass meine Eltern mit mirschon sehr bald bei Psychologen waren. Beim ersten Mal, da duerfte ichgerade so in die Schule gekommen sein. Ich weiss noch, wie ich manchmalmit meinem Vater. He never liked action movies. He would pose for hours, and hewould practice with make-up, like any young girl."I. used to think you'd grow out of it," Elizabeth said, remembering."Mom, I grew into it. It's who I am." I know. But it took me a while to get there. I always think I was theone who had to transition, not you."There was silence for a moment. Elizabeth looked at her child andsmiled. Damn it, he -- she -- was a good kid. What did it matter whatclothes she wanted to wear?"You know, you could always blame it all on me," Elizabeth said."Blame you?" Yeah. I've read online about this thing called petticoat punishment.Some mothers have punished their sons by making them wear dresses. Youcould say I believe in it. You could say you stole something and I'mpunishing you by making you dress like this. It would at least buy yousome time." Mom, hasn't there been enough deceit? Isn't it time for honesty?" Not if it gets you shot." No one's going to shoot me, mom. I'm just the neighborhood.
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