Stroke It

"I'll tell you what," Simon said in a hushed voice as he looked down at her. "One kiss, and I'll let you walk right out that door without stopping you. Promise." I'm not giving you a kiss, you jerk," she said in a harsh whisper."Then I guess we're going to be here for a while." I'm only telling you one more time."He yawned in response.Valerie hit him with a closed fist. It wasn't hard, due more to her not knowing how to throw a punch than for lack of effort, and it probably hurt her hand more than it hurt his face, but she socked him in the jaw all the same."Come on," he said, standing a little bit closer, "you can do better than that."She hit him again, harder this time, but he didn't flinch. She, on the other hand, was trembling uncontrollably from all the adrenaline."That was a little better."He was standing even closer now, and he was so tall that she had to tilt her head all the way back to look him in the eyes."Just one kiss? You promise?" she asked in a hoarse whisper."I. In fact, it seemed like every man in town started wearing women's clothes. Sales for loafers and neckties fell out of the basement, while sales for bras and skirts exploded like wildfire. Eventually, the men looked so much like women; casual observers would have sworn Metropolis looked like one giant sorority. My suspicions about Lexis Luthor were further confirmed when the cross-dressing men started uttering, almost under hypnosis, "Lexis Luthor is such a nice lady, I'd wear a dress for her."Before I did anything, though, I decided to do a test run. I called Ma and Pa, asking them if they knew about my adventures in Metropolis. They admitted that, yes, they did watch the evening news and suspected it was me as soon as they saw SuperWoMan. I asked them, "Have you bought yourself a LexiCom computer yet?" No, Carla dear," Ma replied. "We don't have any need for a simple little thing like that." Ma, tell Pa to buy one and use it. And make darn sure he presses CTRL-ALT-T every time he.
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